dreams (our escape from reality)
by Marvelgeek42
Summary: "Awake-us are assholes," Simon realizes after a heartbeat. "They most certainly are," Bram agrees. "But eventually they will figure it out and we will get to remember these dreams." [Chapters not in chronological order]
1. one day(we will meet outside our dreams)

**Day 9 - You dream about your soulmate every night, but when you wake up you can never remember their face.**

 **The (d o t) and (a t) are due to ffn having something against formatting.**

 **Word Count: 816**

* * *

"It's so stupid that we won't remember this when we're awake." Bram can feel Simon sighing next to him as he says that. "Because stupid awake-me is convincing himself more and more that your emails are actually from Cal Price at that you are very straight."

Bram snorts. "I am about as straight as a unicorn running on a rainbow."

"That's pretty gay," Simon acknowledges, still staring at the ceiling of this room of their dreams, "but I can top that."

"Oh, you can?" Bram challenges, propping himself up on one arm. "Would be the first time you ever topped anything."

Simon nods in response. "Yes. _I_ am about as straight as John Laurens."

"You're right, that's so much gayer."

"Wait a moment." Simon starts shifting around in the bed to face him and narrows his eyes. "What did you say?"

Bram chuckles. "You know exactly what I said. And I stand by it." He pauses. "Well, okay, I lay by it."

"You don't even know that!" Simon exclaims, apparently outraged by the mere suggestion. "It's not like we've tried." He's blushing so adorably.

"And we're not going to, until our awake-selves get the hint," Bram reminds him. "Otherwise it's just all kinds of awkward."

"You're not wrong," Simon agrees. "Again, if only awake-me would stop focusing on Cal Price and accept your gayness."

"Or if only awake-me would stop being such a coward," Bram growls at himself.

"You're no a coward," Simon protests immediately. "If anything I am."

"Oh but I am. Awake me is hoping that Jacques is you and is terrified that you'll hate me. That's the major part of why I haven't said anything."

"That's probably subconscious," Simon theorizes, his psychologist mother really shining through. "I mean you know that I am being blackmailed. If this subconscious pushing thing works at all,

"Awake-us are assholes," Simon realizes after a heartbeat.

"They most certainly are," Bram agrees. "But eventually they will figure it out and we will get to remember these dreams."

"And use them efficiently," Simon adds with a smirk.

Bram throws a pillow at him. Then he smirks, too. "Possibly."

They simply lie there next to each other — occasionally cuddling — until they wake up and have to face the real world again.

* * *

FROM: hourtohour (d o t) notetonote (a t) gmail (d o t) com

TO: bluegreen118 (a t) gmail (d o t) com

DATE: Dec 22 at 2:33 PM

SUBJECT: Jacques vs. the soulmate dreams

 **.**

Blue,

that's fine, I'm gonna wait till you're ready, don't worry. I'm not actually a big stalker or hacker or anything. I'm not gonna try and use things such as the Little Fetus to find out who you are if you really don't want me to.

But the reason why I want to meet you, is that I am increasingly getting the impression that we are actually soulmates.

I am not going to lie, this is another thing I deleted and retyped a dozen times. At the very least.

I realize that this sounds incredibly needy and attention grabbing, but it's true. I just keep waking up with these impressions, and they're pretty much the same exact impressions I am getting from you.

Years ago, my older sister asked my Mum what would happen if you met — as in physically met — your soulmate but didn't have any conversations with him. It was right after we got back from a vacation, so I assume it's relevant and trustworthy.

My Mum said that the general agreement is that you would get these impressions I'm getting. And I've been getting them for pretty much all of high school, but it's only after we started writing that I began to connect them to anyone, and that's you.

And the longer we have been talking, the clearer these impressions have been getting, which I am interpreting as us getting closer.

I'm really hoping that you will end up telling me that the same has been happening to you, because otherwise this whole thing is going to end up really awkward. If you don't, please have pity with me and let me down gently.

Love,

Jacques

PS: This is the first time in months that I almost sent this with my actual name at the end. Interpret that part however you want to.

 **.**

FROM: bluegreen118 (a t) gmail (d o t) com

TO: hourtohour (d o t) notetonote (a t) gmail (d o t) com

DATE: Dec 22 at 2:45 PM

SUBJECT: Re: Jacques vs. the soulmate dreams

 **.**

Jacques,

actually, the same thing has been happening to me. As I do not have any psychologist connections, I was totally unaware of what it meant, though.

I did google it as well, I confess. Because I needed to be absolutely sure before I type this:  
I think I am almost ready for phone numbers.

And I will give you a hint this time, as well: white is not the default.

Love,

Blue

PS: For the first time, I almost did as well.


	2. is this the real life (is this just--

**Word Count: 830**

* * *

 _ **is this the real life (is this just fantasy)**_

* * *

The first dream soulmates share is usually when they are about four years old, just the age Simon Spier is right now. His Mum had told him that every night before he fell asleep for a few weeks now.

"Any day now, you will fall asleep and meet the girl you're destined to bed with. Even if you won't remember it until you actually meet them."

"So how do I know that it hasn't already happened?" he asks her every evening again, because he likes the way she answers.

She smiles at him and pokes at his chest. "You feel it right here. In your heart. And now go to sleep. You don't want to leave your girl waiting if it is tonight, do you?"

"No Mummy," he says, shaking his head and doing his best to fall asleep quickly. Maybe tonight would be the night.

* * *

Hannah falls asleep and then she wakes back up. But it is weird waking up, because she is definitely not in her room. It looks different and she doesn't recognize all of the toys in the room.

And there is someone else there with her. A boy.

This must be her soulmate! Hannah realizes that suddenly and moves over towards him.

"Hello," she greets him. "I'm Hannah Greenfeld. And who are you?"

"I'm Simon. Spier," he adds after a pause. "But how can you be Hannah? You're a boy? Why are you a boy?"

"I'm not a boy," Hannah says, but it feels like a lie in her mouth. Why would she be a boy here and a girl when she is awake, though. She voices that thought out loud.

"I dunno," Simon tells her. "But I can ask my Mummy. She's a pico- pysco…. She does stuff with why brains do what they do."

"Will you remember?" Hannah asks. "Because my Daddy told me that that is not how this works."

Simon falters. "No, you're right. If you want to, I will try to remember, though. Maybe it will work and I just won't remember why."

Hannah thinks about it. "That would be nice, I think. Thank you."

"No problem," he replies. "We're soulmates after all."

They stand there for a few seconds, during which Hannah realizes that being a girl sounds a lot weirder than being a boy.

"Do you want to talk about something else?"

"Yes please," Hannah agrees. This feels like something she should think about when she is awake so she does not have to do this twice.

"I can tell you a bit about me and then you can do the same for you?" he proposes.

Hannah nods. "Sounds good."

"I told you my name is Simon. I have an older sister, Alice, she's almost seven now, and a younger sister, Nora. She's two and she's very cute. We live with my mum and my dad in a suburb of Atlanta. We might get a dog soon," he adds excitedly after a moment. "My best friends are Nick and Leah. I like playing catch with my dad, even if Alice is better, and I like playing with Nora."

"I live in Savannah with Mum and Dad," Hannah begins once it is obvious that it is her turn now. "I have no siblings, but we have a cat that's older than I am. His name is Jimmy and I really like him. My dad is Jewish and my mum is e-pis-co-pa-lian. I think. It's not an easy word."

"Uh huh," Simon agrees.

"I have a cousin in Atlanta," Hannah suddenly remembers. "Her name is Starr Carter. Mayb you know her?"

Simon shakes his head. "I don't. But Atlanta is big. Like, really big."

"I know," Hannah agrees. "We visited Starr and her brother Seven before and it took so long for us to actually be at their place even after we reached the city."

Simon nods. Then he looks at all the toy shelves surrounding them. "Do you want to play until we wake up? There are a lot of toys here that I haven't seen before."

"Me too. And I would love to play," Hannah looks at a game on the shelf she isn't familiar with. It's placed up too high for either of them to reach.

But since this is a dream doesn't that mean that anything is possible?

As it turns out it is, because she flies to the shelf to get it down.

Simon looks at her, her eyes wide. "You have to teach me that!"

* * *

The next morning when Hannah wakes up, she knows two things.

One, she has met her soulmate and it was nice meeting him.

Two, there is something that is not completely right about her being a girl. She's almost sure that her dream-self had been a boy, but she could be making this up. But Hannah knows that there is something she needs to think about.

Maybe she is really a boy. It do not sound wrong at all.

* * *

 **Starr Carter is from The Hate U Give and them being cousins is something I stole from the Love Simon wikia aka it's canon.**


	3. look up to the skies (and see)

**For Sapphic September 2018 (run on tumblr by the-crownless-queen and golden-queen-writes): Day 5 Soulmate!AU or Autumn**

 **Word Count: 812**

* * *

 _ **look up to the skies (and see)**_

* * *

When Abby Suso moves to their conservative little suburb of Atlanta and starts attending Creekwood and Leah is completely and utterly convinced that this girl right there is her soulmate.

She's attractive, funny, and so talented, all the things Leah remembered from her dreams. Okay, so maybe 'remembered' isn't exactly the right word. No one really remembers things from their soulmate dreams, after all. It most certainly are the impressions she gets every single night — as if they spend every night falling in love all over again.

She's pretty sure that even without these impressions, she would be crushing hardcore on Abby, doodling hearts around her name in notes and all that.

In other words, Leah is aware that the fact she is bi is about the only thing separating her and the useless lesbian cliche at this point. And the strangest thing is that she doesn't really mind.

There is another thing, one more hint that convinces her that Abby Suso is her soulmate.

And that is the collection of drawings in her room, all of them showing the girl in various poses. Leah has honestly drawn her so often that she uses these to measure her progress.

 _She might have drawn Abby Suso more than she had read Drarry_. Or good Drarry, at least.

If this is not her soulmate, then Leah has a serious problem should anyone ever see these drawings.

* * *

"Awake-you is adorable," Abby Suso comments that night in their dream. They half sit and half lie side by side on a white couch in the realm of their dreams. The walls were plastered with pictures of all the things they had done in their dream, as well as some of Leah's favorite sketches and drawings. "Awake-me honestly does not know a thing."

"You know plenty of things," Leah argues instantly. "Just not about this."

"Yeah," Abby agrees dejectedly, "I know nothing about the important things in life."

"School is plenty important," Leah points out. After all, in this economy it would be hard to get a job without a degree.

"So is love," Abby protests, gesturing wildly as she always does.

"Given our heteronormative society, I don't blame awake-you for not figuring it out yet," Leah states flatly. "Especially since you focus so much on school."

"Because I have to," Abby responds in the same manner. Then she shakes her head. "Let us talk about something else now, shall we?"

"That sounds like a good idea. Do you have anything specific in mind?" Leah asks.

Abby grins.

* * *

The more time Abby spends at Creekwood with Simon, Nick, Leah, and the rest of the people who sit at their lunch table, the more convinced she gets that one of them must be her soulmate.

The fact that she wakes up with an ever increasing amount of frustration is a pretty big hint, everything else aside.

At the first, she thinks it might be Simon. After all, they both do theater, which would provide a common interest if nothing else. But that thought doesn't last long. It's more a brother-sisterly type of love between them and Abby is _pretty_ sure that she has a romantic soulmate.

Not to forget the whole drama with Martin Addison. She is sorry about her reaction, once she thinks about it more. After all, Simon had been blackmailed _and_ done the whole thing pretty horribly at that. She is not a fan of what he had done by any means, but she understands it, at least.

During this time, she and Nick try to have a relationship, but it quickly becomes obvious that this isn't it, when she wakes up more frustrated than ever in his arms. Abby doesn't know if the same is true or not, but she doesn't really care. She knows herself well enough that her dream-self must be frustrated that she is not dating her soulmate who is clearly very close.

Or at least, she can't think of any other reason why she it would happen every single night without a fail.

And considering that the rest of their lunch table had never been in the race, that leaves Leah Burke.

Abby, however, knows that she would not be able to handle a gay crisis, breaking up, and the tests in their senior year at the same time, so — like a coward — she waits for an excuse.

It only comes along after they already have their results, in the form of college. The fact that shortly after the breakup conversation, Leah defends her from Morgan's racist comment certainly doesn't make her regret the decision.

In fact, given the fact that this means she and Leah will be alone for their road trip, Abby is almost thankful for Morgan's brainless comment.

Alone, with Leah Burke, over an hour away from home. Yeah, Abby likes that idea very much.


End file.
